Cut Footage - Explanations

In this particular shot there aren't any of the previously seen characters visible, only semi-audible chatter of them on the bus debating about philosophical beliefs. In this I don't agree with the statement that I "over-edited" the footage, wanting to play with colour theory to capture something from In The Mood For Love in my own style rather than fully adapt Wong Kar-Wei's like I had in 'Copy Cat' a film still reimagining of an old photo taken of my father, that I found similar visuals in the shot of Chow Mo-Wan smoking at his desk.

Copy Cat copy.jpg

IMG_2441.jpg.2

My works become holistic in nature, there are little connections between everything I do now whether or not they're strong I can still see them. I'm now wondering if I should care if you the observer understands my vision in the same way I do or you should decide for yourself, can you see what I see? Does it really matter if you get it or not, at some point it's going to be your fault. This isn't hostility, just an apathy of being misunderstood, be it out of my confusing method or simply out of spite.

Of Him:

Satsujin_yugi-558253158-large.jpg.1

Of Me:

FJgJsKtX0AA4Cka.jpg-large.jpeg

To be clear I don't view myself to be the same as Travis Bickle or Shohei Narumi, I just recognise the influence they have had on me and the influence they've had on my father. What ever could have caused his violent rage filled outburst could've been from what I had heard about his childhood.

'One day your Obachan (grandmother) and Ogichan (grandfather) were on our boat, sailing out at sea, my father had planned the trip for the whole day and I remember getting out on the sea that day. The water was gentle and the wind was smooth. I remember we went so far out you couldn't see land anymore, or maybe we could and it had just gotten so far in the horizon, it just looked like more of the ocean. Your Ogichan walked up to me while I was playing with the water and said "Kazumasa! Stand Up!" so I stood up and asked him what he wanted, he just picked my up and threw me in the water. At the Time I hadn't learnt how to swim so I was panicking and thrashing in the water trying to get back on the boat, my father said to me, "you must swim until we come back", then he turned his back and the boat calmly moved away as I was crying in the middle of the Japanese ocean. I don't remember much of it, being in the water after they left, but I know that was one of the most important lessons my father taught me, the day he taught me how to swim'.

I was about 10 when he told me this story, I knew at the time it was bad, but I didn't realise this had been an episode in a series of events that had the same theme, my grandmother was a truly cruel woman and my grandfather the same.

'Fujimaru! Chibi!' He said

'Let me tell you a story'

I sat down on a box of books by his desk that had been there for months

'Did you know when I was born, I looked like a monkey!'

I laughed for a bit

'I looked soooo Ugly! That my Obachan, your grandmother didn't want to see me, she was so grossed out because I was so hairy.'

He just said be grateful that you were a handsome baby.

that was one of the nicest things he'd ever said to me, I later learned that he hadnt finished the story, in fact my mother told me the full version, that when he was born he looked like an animal and so that in his crib when he was sleeping his mother came into his room and tried to smother him, only to stopped by my grandfather.

There isn't a true moral to these stories, only that beyond the hate, in an uneasy way I understand why he became what he was. In this I also recognise his inability to be comfortable in his own skin not wanting to be Kaz, instead a famous character from popular films, someone timeless like James Dean, and Yusaku. Someone who could survive death and be somebody everyone adored. This is connection I share with my father. Without words spoken, I know if I don't see him again, if he dies before I can confront him, this is something I know for certain.

Memory Palace

Confirm copying